Internal Family Systems Therapy in New York for High Achievers: Where the Bracing Begins to Ease
She did not know how to just sit on the couch. Lena laughed when she said it, but she was not joking. Sunday afternoons made her uneasy. If she was not answering emails, planning the week, or optimizing something, she felt restless and slightly panicked, like she was wasting time.
From the outside, she was thriving. Senior role in tech. Marathon runner. Close friendships. A carefully built life in the city. But she came to Internal Family Systems Therapy in New York because her body never powered down. Even on vacation, her jaw was tight. Even during dinner with friends, part of her was tracking what she should be doing next.
She was successful. And she was exhausted.
When Productivity Becomes Protection
Lena described a constant internal pressure. Do more. Be sharper. Stay ahead. If she tried to slow down, another voice would cut in and warn her that she was falling behind.
In Internal Family Systems Therapy in New York, we do not try to eliminate that voice. We get curious about it. As we slowed down, she began to notice that her drive was not just ambition. It was protection.
A part of her believed that if she stopped striving, she would become irrelevant. Invisible. Replaceable. That part was not obsessed with achievement. It was terrified of not mattering.
High-achievers often assume their intensity is simply personality. But through Internal Family Systems Therapy in New York, it becomes clear that many productivity-driven parts formed early. They learned that performance created safety. That excellence reduced risk. That staying impressive kept connection intact.
The Fear Beneath the Overdrive
As the work deepened, a younger part began to emerge. A middle school version of Lena who felt awkward and excluded. She had learned that vulnerability was dangerous and that excellence was safer.
So she excelled.
Her high-performing part was not the enemy. It was brilliant. It built a life she was proud of. But it also kept her nervous system in a constant state of activation.
Internal Family Systems Therapy in New York allows both truths to exist at once. The strategy worked, and it is exhausting.
When her striving part felt understood rather than criticized, something subtle shifted. The internal pressure softened. Not because she forced herself to relax, but because the protective part no longer felt alone in its job.
From Overdrive to Self-Leadership
Over time, Lena did not lose her ambition. She did not stop caring about her work. But she developed something more sustainable than self-control. She developed self-leadership.
She could leave an email unanswered until morning without spiraling. She could take a Saturday off without feeling like she was falling behind. She could run because it felt good, not because she needed to prove something.
Internal Family Systems Therapy in New York helps high-achievers move from internal management to internal trust. When protective parts believe there is a steady and compassionate presence inside, they do not have to drive so relentlessly.
If you are successful but cannot relax, if your mind is always optimizing the next move, if rest feels unsafe, Internal Family Systems Therapy in New York offers a way to understand the parts keeping you in overdrive and gently build steadiness from the inside out.
You do not have to give up your edge. You just do not have to live in survival-mode to keep it.
Author Bio
Hilary Kopple, LCSW, is an IFS Therapist in NYC
Hilary Kopple, LCSW, is a trauma- informed psychotherapist in New York City specializing in anxiety, emotional overwhelm, relationship patterns, and life transitions. She is an IFS therapist in NYC, incorporating somatic awareness, CBT, and ACT into a warm, grounded, evidence-based approach. Hilary helps adults slow down, reconnect with themselves, and create meaningful inner change rooted in self leadership.
To learn more or get started, visit her Home page.
Read more about her background on her About page.